the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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