I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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