why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
