So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
