I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
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