do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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