She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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