so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
