She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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