dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
His nipple licking is glorious
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