She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
