I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
