She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
