Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
