and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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