Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If that was your dad, he is hot
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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