I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
