i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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