I only kidnapped one of them. chill
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize