There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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