What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
