she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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