I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
