D3 body, D1 cock
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
