I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
