Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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