I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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