This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
