I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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