Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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