yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
