maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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