What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
