Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you traded sex for a burrito?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
