Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
