so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
