Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize