Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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