Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
