We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
