she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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