I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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