Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
