I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
