What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
