Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
