Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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