i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
