I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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