just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
