Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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