yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
