Nicole vs. Life
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
