Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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