is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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