did you get engaged???
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
