Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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