these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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