I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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