I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
