I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
