I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
