Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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