Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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