Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
